Improved Confidence- January

I've decided that I'm going to make monthly posts up until I go to university (and possibly even beyond then) where I keep track of everything I've done in the month that has gone towards improving my confidence. These things would usually be stuff I wouldn't have normally done, but could also include things that made me feel much happier and gave me a better perspective on life. This will hopefully help me achieve my aim of improving my confidence over my gap year. These are the things I've done over January:

• Pushed through a huge mood slump where I experienced a massive drop in confidence, picked myself up and kept going and applying for jobs even though I felt like there was no hope.
• Found a new wave of motivation that pushed me to carry on with my healthy lifestyle and completely resist temptation.
• Getting a job offer after appearing friendly and confident in an interview. 

These don't seem like a lot but considering how I was feeling at the beginning of this month and how I'm feeling now I know that I've undergone a huge change and these seem small but they're actually pretty big. I also feel like not everything that I've listed in this post and previous posts of this kind, or that I will list in future posts, focuses on improving my confidence, so I'm going to add 'achievements' to these post titles because I can certainly say that they all are. However, I don't want to completely abandon the 'improving my confidence' aspect of these posts (and this gap year, in fact), so these posts will still be a place for me to discuss the various achievements of mine that have helped me to improve my confidence.

I also wanted to discuss these points in a bit more detail because I'm quite proud of myself this month. I started it out in the worst state. The effects of my time at university had finally caught up with me and had hit me with full force. I knew it was inevitable that I would feel very depressed about the fact that it had been a disaster and I had left while others were out there living it up and having the best time. I had been looking forward to the fun and freedom for years. Also, I had very little to do and it felt like my life had truly lost direction. The search for jobs was getting me down and the application process was incredibly draining. I felt so weak and fragile but I managed to pick myself up of the ground and keep on applying for jobs, even though it was sapping my energy. I realised I didn't have to take the application process too seriously- it was way more stressful that way. If I was lucky I'd get an interview but if not it didn't matter too much- more lie ins! After a few days I found I was feeling quite a bit better, which was great. I had more energy and I was happier- and I was proud of myself for actually getting past my fear for once.

I'd also told myself I would begin eating more healthily, after stuffing my face with crap for the entire month of December. I knew the food I was eating wasn't good for me at all, and it was best to try and stop before I found it more difficult to. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Initially it was hard, and I found it difficult to stop sugar, but then I suddenly found a wave of motivation. Since then, I've hardly had any cravings, which is actually a real surprise. I feel like I can do it and I'm determined to stick to it this time. I always end up giving up, and I really don't want that to be the case now. I actually want to make sure I see and feel the results. I'll keep updating as I progress, both as a way of celebrating my achievements and also keeping myself motivated.